Sab·o·tage – deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something)
Inside an addict’s mind runs a soundtrack of self-attacks: “Nobody really cares.” “Nobody understands my pain.” Many addicts suffer from a core belief that they aren’t good enough or don’t deserve anything but the misery they’ve known in active addiction. They accept self-condemning judgements regarding themselves, and the character that defines them is not a front-burner issue regarding the decisions they make on a day to day basis. The choices addicts make on the surface seem completely selfish and self-centered, and appear as signs of someone who simply has no concern whatever for their loved ones.
Often the addict allows this spirit of sabotage to translate into deep-rooted feelings of hopelessness and defeat, leaving the addict feeling desperate for a high, willing to do anything to numb the abject misery of their lives and spirit.
For addicts, this level of sabotage is one of the greatest obstacles they choose to construct and then ignore. They deliberately destroy relationships, jobs, vehicles, etc. As an addict, to cause damage to your body, health, mind, and/or the people around you is a common and inevitable process. To obstruct everything good from your life is a normal way of operation as an addict.
My theory and thoughts on this is that sabotage is a way of an addict crying out for help. There is no other answer that I can have peace about regarding the conditions of what addicts seem to consider acceptable behavior in their addiction. The most common stories you hear with addicts while they’re attempting to cry out for help or satisfy their addiction is increasingly brazen stealing from parents, friends, and loved ones. You also often hear about worsening lying, manipulation, and outrageous criminal activity. By acting out in this manner not only are they feeding their insatiable addiction for now, but also guarantee relief of their current vicious cycle by law enforcement intervention, illness, or hopefully eventually God’s grace.
On the surface, of course addiction is one of the most singular selfish acts that the devil has laced into this generation. As you begin to dig deeper, the outward signs regarding cries for help are the variety of self-centered acts we have come to know as sabotage. As a recovered addict, when I look back I pray that I will continue to redeem some of the wrongs I have inflicted upon my loved ones and children. One thing I know for sure, I serve a God whose grace abounds past anything we have ever known. I serve a God of not just restoration, but a God who can make things better than they ever were to start! My prayer for you and your family is that if addiction has riddled your life with sabotage, that you would get help. The Freedom Dream Center in Aurora, Missouri was that help for me. Where addiction transformed into a life living for Jesus Christ was the first step of the rest of my life.
Matthew 7:1-4 Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement that you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brothers eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye, when there is the log in your own eye?
– Branson James