Whenever you start a journey-it is in the beginning, progress is most easily measured. You jump into your canoe and start paddling. When you look back you see the shore moving away, getting smaller and smaller, until the moment it’s no longer visible. This progress is obvious. I see shore, I see shore get smaller and I see no shore. The progress of your canoe moving away from the shore is inspirational and motivates you to keep paddling. Then one day you look up and the shore is gone and realize you have no idea the distance to the other side.
Then a question finds its way into your head…”what if I don’t have what it takes to make it to the other side?”
See when I started my journey, I knew I was a miracle. God saved me and I committed to serving him for the rest of my life. Part of me believed that was enough. God would know I was sincere in my repentance, restore my life and I would live happily ever after. Jump in my canoe paddle for a couple days, maybe weeks a few months at the most and I would be to the other side. But here I sit, writing about this journey-approaching 2 years. It is only now the shore has disappeared and I’ve turned to face this voyage and wonder how much do I have left to give..
The way I see it, I have 3 options;
Turn back, get out or keep paddling.
The idea of turning back sets my skin on fire and makes me nauseous, to give up the progress I’ve made is unimaginable. Getting out is stupid and cowardly. So I’m left with door #3, keep paddling.
Do I have the strength to make it to the other side…probably not.
But then again was it my strength that got me this far? Absolutely not. Like I said, I’m a miracle. God has been my strength and portion every minute of every day. It is in my weakest moments he has been the strongest. And it’s because of his wonderful grace, I have this second chance. God is always working and honestly I very rarely see much of the picture or how it might turn out. The times I think I do know-I’m not even close. But I do know I can hang my life on Jesus and his word.
“God has come to save me, I will trust him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory” (Isaiah 12:2)
Joshua 1:9 Lien