Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.
There is this story that I know of a man who was lost inside of his addiction, his pain had finally taken control, and all this dark world had to offer had consumed him. In the midst of his struggles and failures in life he had decided to give up and lay down, and wait for death. That somehow death would be an escape hatch for the misery that ultimately he was the creator of. Somehow he believed that there was no hope, that his predestination was death, and that death was determined to be victorious over him. He had chosen to lay down his fight and give in, in spite of what he had known the Truth to be at one time. Like a bike left in the rain, Truth for us can rust, become something else, disintegrate even if not cherished and maintained. Despite still being Truth, it had escaped his memory. He had chosen to make that which was not true all that he knew. Lies inside of him despised who he was designed to be. He confused and misused all that God had placed inside of him. That story was my story, that I can now tell about a guy that could only pretend all was ok on the outside until it all came crashing down on the inside. Inside my journey, darkness had prevailed, but God reached out His hand to this one lonely man to ensure that Hell was not my only plan. Breath Of Life, Arise!
I remember hearing: Breath of Life, Breath of Life, Arise! Amidst the darkness, that the depths of demonic activity had overtaken and consumed me would be a fair description. Day or night, hot or cold, had no meaning. I had opened a door somewhere that was not meant to be opened. To write about the sorts of things that I have seen would not be appropriate. But to say the least, sometimes I wonder: Was it all a dream, was it really real? Was I really that person? I suppressed those feelings as long as humanly possible. How is it possible that a good ole’ boy from Miller, Missouri could turn into a monster literally overnight? I remember this repetitive dream that I had as a kid that used to scare the life out of me. In it, I remember I was at the Miller grade school, on the playground climbing the stairs on the slide, and as I climbed up the stairs and entered the graffiti-filled metal slide, inside it was a person that I had never seen or known before. This person showed me a picture of a clown, and I instantly trusted and knew them, and would do whatever this person asked. This dream, although I know I am forgetting some details, has always sat in the back of my mind. What was the meaning? I am dream person, I believe strongly in the ability of God to communicate with us through our dreams. This period of my life had been overtaken by darkness. I remember this voice, that was not being produced by anything that I controlled, that spoke life into me in the very moment that I was begging for death to take over. This voice said “Breath of Life, Breath of Life, Arise. I Am that I Am. I Am that I Am”. Not realizing that God was literally calling me back from death in those moments, I was confused as to what and why this voice was speaking these riddles to me. Now I know that God has a purpose and a plan. Something besides death was intended on this journey. God saved me, He pulled me from the darkest place that I could have ever imagined and said: Stand and walk Brandon, for you are my child and you are Not done. Breath of Life, Breath of Life, Arise!
Breath of Life, Breath of Life, Arise. I Am that I Am. I Am that I Am. And I am more, much more, than enough.
Isaiah 51:17 Awake, awake, stand up, O Jerusalem, that hast drunk at the hand of Jehovah the cup of his wrath; thou hast drunken the bowl of the cup of staggering, and drained it.