I’ve been in Missouri for 5 days. I will be here until April 9th. Sitting at Keen Bean. Told my brother I would write a blog. I have been unable/unwilling to post anything publicly for awhile now. What seems to be the disconnect? I love to write. I’ve enjoyed writing for most of my life. Even as I write that last statement, I am hammered with doubt. Have I enjoyed writing? Is that the truth? I think it is. Just because i’ve enjoyed writing doesn’t require others to savor my scribbles. I am so afraid of being wrong. Wrong-about what? See, here’s the deal, I can journal. I can write when it is for my eyes only or some imaginary audience in my head. It is that accusing voice every time I write. The voice says; are you sure what you wrote is completely true? Is the grammar correct? Probably not. Stop writing about yourself. You should know the Bible better. You’re a fake. You’re unworthy. When I journal I can write about those fears-accusations. But when I write and it might be read-I am supposed to have it all together. Right? I want to help others. But this overwhelming unworthiness, paralyzes me. My voice. My writing. My progress. My life. It is not blatant sin in my life crippling me but the unsurety in myself. Unsurety, when what I read in the bible and then see how it fleshes out in mine and others lives. How can I talk with confidence about my race; when I am watching those around me stumble and fall? People who have ran this race for decades and are now apparently choosing a different direction. I’ve been on this journey for a short time-26 months. What chance do I have? I am reminded of a simple acronym I learned early on in my sales career.- K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Stupid. When selling a product, it is necessary to learn all you can about your product- if you want lasting success. My product was fitness. I knew it forward, backward, inside out and upside down. Anatomy, diet, supplements- I had a great grasp on all things fitness. I could talk for hours on any one subject. I loved fitness. Loved learning about the body. I lived it. Now, when I was sitting in front of average “Jane Doe” (whose goals usually included weight loss and getting active) talking about the creb cycle or how to properly stretch the sternocleidomastoid would effectively put her to sleep. Instead I would ask her goals and then offer very basic advice on what I believed to be necessary action to achieve those goals. I kept it simple. Keeping it simple motivates potential client “Jane Doe” to take the first step-not the final step-just the first step. And with this first step her journey begins. On my journey with Jesus the same acronym applies. K.I.S.S. What matters today is the step I am on. If I allow my mind to be muddled with theological confusion and any number of “what-if” scenarios, unsurety is the result. How can I be sure of anything when I am trying to peer through a fog 2 decades away? What do I know today? I know, Jesus Loves me, Jesus died for me, Jesus lives-Jesus saved me. I am a miracle. Today I have clarity. Today my savior is King. Whenever the cloud of unsurety threatens your horizon; fall back, hang your life on what you know. What you know about Jesus.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua (Lien) 1:9